Whilst mauling about in the yard.

Me and our kid was digging up soil with a stick.

When we found this rusty old hand grenade.

It was nestling under a brick.

"What shall we do with it"…our kid said.

We'd never seen one like it before.

We had to be quiet at this point.

For Grandad was opening the back door.

Now.. Grandad was carrying his paper.

He passed us, and gave us a smile.

We knew he was visiting the toilet.

So we knew he'd be there for a while.

We waited till he settled down.

Pushing and farting, he was.

Normally, one would keep well away.

Stinking the way that he does.

It 's a rusty old bugger, this hand grenade.

As we examined this thing that we'd found. ( feawnt )

Just then our kid pulled this pin out.

Then threw it and started to count. ( Ceawnt )

It rolled to the bottom of the yard.

Our kid he went white as a ghost.

It landed right near the toilet.

Where grandad was reading the post. ( Local newspaper )

Our kid, he started to cry.

He'd have got the thing back if he could.

But nothing else happened for a moment.

It was then that we thought it a dud.

WHEN

This thing, it went off with an almighty bang.

Clouds of muck, dust and smoke….. What a state.

We both were frightened and started to run.

And then we saw grandad, hanging over the gate.

Laughing his head off, our grandad was.

And then through the laughter, he said.

" I wonder what your gran would have thought.

If I'd have let one like that go in bed".

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Copyright © 1998 Jeff Unsworth

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