Cold Cure

Good heavens, Ive got an headache.
I think I'm getting the flu.
I've taken a couple of Beechums.
I'm hoping that they'll do.

I tried a couple of Asprins first.
But I could'nt shake it off.
Now my nose is running.
Besides that I'm starting to cough.

All my bones are aching.
I've ulcers on my gums.
I'm going to have a whiskey.
Or else a couple of rums.

If I had'nt got false teeth.
I'd swear they all were aching.
And the wife, she has no sympathy.
She says, she cannot cope with all this noise I'm making.

She says, I should stop crying.
Which does'nt half get me riled.
She reakons, I don't know what suffering is.
Until you've had a child.

Well, I never. I've started sweating.
That rum as started to work.. I think.
So bugger all the tablets.
I'll have another drink.