Wigan Dialect

Jeff Unsworth

 

Cold Cure

 

 

 

...

Good heavens, Ive got an headache.

I think I'm getting the flu.

I've taken a couple of Beechums.

I'm hoping that they'll do.


I tried a couple of Asprins first.

But I could'nt shake it off.

Now my nose is running.

Besides that I'm starting to cough.


All my bones are aching.

I've ulcers on my gums.

I'm going to have a whiskey.

Or else a couple of rums.


If I had'nt got false teeth.

I'd swear they all were aching.

And the wife, she has no sympathy.

She says, she cannot cope with all this noise I'm making.


She says, I should stop crying.

Which does'nt half get me riled.

She reakons, I don't know what suffering is.

Until you've had a child.


Well, I never. I've started sweating.

That rum as started to work.. I think.

So bugger all the tablets.

I'll have another drink.

 


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Copyright © 1998 Jeff Unsworth

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