Crin, aah'v gett'n a yedwarch.

Aah think aah'm cotch'in flu.

Aah'v takk'n a couple er Beechums.

Aah'm op'in that they'l do.

Aah trey'd a couple of asprins, fust.

Burr aah could'nt shake it off.

Neaw mi nose is runn'in.

Aside frum that, aah'm startin't cough.

Aw mi bones are warch'in.

Aah'v ulcers on mi gums.

Aah'm goo'int av a whiskey.

Or else a couple er rums.

If aah ad'nt geet faws teeth.

Aah'd swear they aw were ach'in.

Un't wife, her's geet no sympathy.

Sez her corn't bi doo'in wi aw this neyse aah'm mak'in.

Her sez aah should stop skraahk'in.

Which dun't orf get me raahl't.

Her sez tha dun't know what suffer'in is.

Until tha's had a chaahl't.

Eeh.. ecky thump, aah'v start'id sweat'in.

That rum, it's start'id werk, aah think.

So bugger aw them tablits.

Aah'l av another drink.

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Copyright © 1998 Jeff Unsworth

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